The urge to express what's in my heart

They met when they stood on the threshold of teenage and remained best friends till teenage lasted. One of them, Rose , turned 20 earlier this year and the other one , Lily will turn 20 in a day or two. They both have their dark sides - Rose' ego centric , stubborn , she can't take no for an answer , selfish at times - which let me tell you , her friends refuse to accept that as a negative trait in her. On the other hand Lily's self centric too , way too self obsessed , has a 'i'm sexy and i know' kind of attitude and its all about 'her'. 
Anyway , lets move further. If they were both so ego centric and self obsessed what made them best friends ? 
Well , the fact that they were both WAY TOO similar. So they kinda perceived each other one as a reflection to oneself, which in turn made them obsessed with each other too !! 
They laughed together , ate together , took every tiny decision of their lives together. Lily was like the guiding spirit for Rose and Rose on the other hand was Lily's 'hang out zone'. They were 'happy' in the real sense of the word when they were together.
They made each other feel special , like true lovers. They protected each other , they stood up for each other , spoke for each other , and they were way too much in love than any other pair of best friends would be. 
Something extra ordinary about their friendship was how they created magic together and how they could escape from reality into their own pretty little world. What looks even more amazing to me is the fact that - They were best friends and never jealous of each other. They were GIRLS at the end of the day - the most jealous creatures God ever created. Right?
Oh! But OTHER girls were certainly jealous! 
That feelindpg you get when you see an 'oh-so-perfect' couple and you wish you had such a relationship ? Others experienced such feelings when they saw these two.
It was a 'picture perfect' friendship , with no expectations , no qualms , no regrets . But like all the "Good Things" come to an end , this beautiful relationship got jinxed too. 

  It din't happen abruptly , this friendship was degrading and both of them could sense it. They made various attempts to save their bond of true friendship.
 Rose was dependent on Lily for everything , because she thought that nobody could take her so called 'best friend - soul sister' away from her. But it had been a while since Rose started feeling alienated and unwanted. Lily fell in love with a guy and was busy in her own life. Rose was happy about the fact that her best friend was happy - that was all she asked for. But sometimes you should be careful what you ask for ! 

 Rose' wish came true. Her friend was happy and her life was full of all beautiful things and relationships.  One thing Rose was unaware of was that wishes no matter how good or positive have another side too - like everything in the world. If there's God , there has to be Evil to make us understand the true worth of God. Likewise , Rose' wish was a dream come true for her best friend but somewhere down the line without Lily realizing it , the wish was casting its evil spell on her other relationships. Lily became self centered - to  the extent that was utterly impracticable for people around to handle. She got new friends in life - basically SHE MOVED ON.

 While Rose was still standing there holding onto the pieces. 
 To cut the long story short , Rose ended the friendship because she was way too emotionally complicated to handle.  People thought she was heartless , jealous may be - that she could not see her best friend happy , she was mean , stubborn , exaggerative and whole lot of mean words now became synonyms to her. 

  So finally , one day Lily walked up to Rose , trying to make things better and tried a lot and finally told her that ultimately Rose'll have to share her best friend with her future husband , her kids and in laws but no one could ever fill Rose' place in Lily's life. Finally , after hours of contemplation and bewilderment Rose decided to give up because the place that once belonged to her , was not hers anymore. Lily was content in her life and believed her friendship with Rose diminished because Rose had something against this new guy in Lily's life but she could never figure out how Rose always had a love too in her life and still never turned away from Lily. 

Rose and Lily were one of those girls everyone wanted to become friends with , unfortunately they could not stay friends with each other.
  
 Although , Its never too late to start afresh. But sometimes .. its better to end things on a positive note and not hold grudges , and worsen everything trying to make it better. 

 Everything in the world , Indeed COMES TO AN END. 

Unmasked..

After contemplating over relationships , trying too hard to hold on to some and trying too hard to let go of some. You come to a point where no over analysis is need . That point is certainly not the high point of your life. Its the low phase - when the darkness overshadows your relationships and at that point of time the real bonds shine through. This is indeed the true learning phase of life. Every person who turns you down - your so called best buddies , your true friends , your soul sisters , your soul mates , your close friends , your boy/girlfriends  - whatsoever. They help you move one step closer to becoming strong.
  Until you reach this stage , life is either way too complicated or way too simple and boring , in either case it turns upside down once every person in your life is 'unmasked'. You see your best friends turning into your worst enemies , there's nothing true in your 'true love'. You realize your enemies weren't your enemies and your friends weren't your friends.. there was a thin line of judgement which you couldn't perceive properly - epic failure it was.
 And what does one do in such situations - crib and die? NO. One should just be 'Grateful' for the lessons learnt. Every mistake has a lesson learnt.



To be continued..

God Always Has Better Plans.

 So now its evident why din't it ever work with anyone else. She has finally found the love of her life , she's happy being with him. He gives her butterflies in her stomach , they fight like a married couple and then  kiss and make up. He makes her feel like they're meant to be , like there's no other guy who could love her more. And what more could she ask for? Its a dream come true for her :) 
  And what makes me write about her story is the realization that sometimes when you chase someone way too much and run in circles around them , they don't acknowledge your presence and your worth and you feel all let down and you start doubting yourself - if you ain't beautiful enough or if you're not worthy of getting that someone. 
And then.. Comes the turning point - THAT one day when someone comes along and makes you realize WHY din't it ever work with anyone else. This someone comes and makes you feel like the prettiest thing on the face of this world , like you're the reason for the sun to rise and stars to shine , for birds to chirp and water to ripple.  How beautiful life looks with that someone around , ain't it ? 
      
 Finding the right person can sometimes be depressing , it might weaken you , lower your self esteem and have ample of negative effects on you as a person all together , waiting may seem long - but you gotta hold yourself together , laugh with your best friends and have the time of your life , listen to your favourite genre of music , look pretty and love yourself until you find someone - because the results would be worth waiting for. 
 No matter what the definition is , you can't buy love or beg for it , you can't touch or find it , it just knows before you when you least expect it to. 

:)

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2010.
7. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
8. Sleep for 7 hours.
9. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

1. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
3. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
6. Dream more while you are awake.
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
8. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more.
14. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:

1. Call your family often.
2. Each day give something good to others.
3. Forgive everyone for everything.
4. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
5. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
6. What other people think of you is none of your business.
7. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

1. Do the right thing!
2. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
3. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
4. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
5. The best is yet to come.
6. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Lonely ?

There comes a point in everybody's life when they feel alone among st the crowd when they have absolutely no friends to rely on , no one they can turn up to when they're feeling low.

Well , its the phase of loneliness. Everybody passes through it at one point or the other and those who don't can never discover their true selves.

You can never really know what you want in a person , from a person or from any other thing in the environment for that matter , until you know yourself completely.

Being lonely is not something you should be ashamed of.. Its like saying you're ashamed of yourself.
Loneliness is not just a state of depression resulting from being alone. Lonely is a person who does not enjoy his own company.
And IF YOU don't like being with yourself how can you expect someone else to love you ?

Being lonely , gives you the time you need to consider yourself , your opinions , your feelings, other people and surroundings with a clear head. It helps you become aware of your wants and weaknesses. And if it makes you a stronger , level - headed person be proud of it !
Because not everybody can handle their own company !

And you can never stop cursing your life..

Have you ever thought life was unfair ?
That is has been fair to everyone but you ?

If you don't get that one girl/guy you love , its the end of the world ?

If you can't pass an entrance exam , you've let your parents down ?

If you don't smoke/drink and you don't wear branded clothes , you don't own a blackberry.., you don't deserve to be with your ultra cool friends ?

If we can't appreciate the life given to us by God. Why do we even ask for more ?

Why do we worship God if ultimately we have to curse him for everything that goes wrong in our lives? And how many of us actually thank him for the slightest of happiness he gives us ?

For every door that closes there's one that opens. Similarly for every reason to hate life.. there's one to love it ! Only if we look at the brighter side of life.
Ninety percent of what you think is made up by your mind. Most of what you think about others is made up by your mind.
Nobody's bad your thoughts make him/her so.

What makes life unfair ? Exams ? Poverty ? A Broken heart ? Letting your parents down ?

Who's responsible for everything .. Who is to be blamed ? God or YOU ?

You don't study. You fail. You curse God.

You're poor. You do nothing to make your life better. You curse God.

You're rich. You can't thank God for everything you can afford. BUT YOU CAN CURSE HIM FOR EVERYTHING YOU CAN'T AFFORD.
Someone loves you. You hurt him/her. You never curse yourself.

You love some else. You can't have him/her. You curse God.

Its funny , how easy it is to put the blame on God for everything.

To be continued..

...

Its been two years since they're friends and she has known & loved him since forever.
She loves him to death with undying hopes that may be , MAY BE someday he'd walk upto her and confess his love to her. Though , she pretends to have moved on , to cover every question about him with her fake 'I don't give a fuck nomore' attitude.

And I wonder if he even cares. Guys usually don't. They're heartless creatures.

I've known a part of him , that sometimes leaves me confused.

Confused about why does'nt he really want to be with her ?

Her unconditional love. Why can't he appreciate it ? Is he so unfortunate ?

Has he even tried ? Tried to understand the heart that he's hurting ?

Seems like she does'nt have a choice. HE is everything to her. Loving him is like her need. Is he really worth it all , if all that he has to say is 'sorry' ?
Could just one sorry take away all the pain that he put her fragile heart through ?

Not everyone gets the one they love , and not everyone is loved so much. Only if people start appreciating and respecting others' feelings for them. Only if people instead of waiting for the one they love , start living with & for the one that loves them , their lives would be happier and more content.